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With instructive life stories, personal reflections, exercises, and self-help tests, Codependent No More has helped countless readers change their codependent behaviors and understand that they are powerless to change anyone but themselves.
- Sales Rank: #8389022 in Books
- Published on: 1992-10-01
- Binding: Unknown Binding
- Self-Help
- Codependency
- Behaviors
- 12 Steps
- Melody Beattie
Most helpful customer reviews
39 of 43 people found the following review helpful.
A life changer
By Amy Brooks
I know this is an incredibly cheesy thing to say, but this book changed my life. It is a simplistic yet thorough look at this disorder. Its roots, its patterns, and, most importantly, its solutions. Like many who have probably read this book, I found myself being told I was co-dependent in therapy and not understanding what exactly that meant. Beattie even touches on that vagueness in this book, admits that codependency is not well-defined. Reading this defined it for me. It clarified exactly what it was and made me understand where it came from and how to solve it. This book was where my recovery began.
I will say this: this book is somewhat about God. If you are like me, you don't care where solutions come from as long as they work. I am a Christian so for me the tone and frequent mentions of God were not really of note, but if you are sensitive to such things just know it is a part of this book although I wouldn't say it is overbearing. You can easily enjoy this and take away plenty of help without being a religious or spiritual person.
17 of 18 people found the following review helpful.
A good "aid" to your own personal journey out of the dark.
By Megzilla
I feel I am a prime example of a codependant that I should be studied and questioned by several doctors. Main question they all would ask is "how did you live this long feeling so many.... Negative emotions??"
As she states in here, the first step toward healing isn't acceptance, but AWARENESS. I bought this book awhile ago in desperation to see where things went wrong in an awful relationshi(t). As I always did, buying books, workout DVDs, etc, all these things I was excited for that will help me feel better about me and bring a new me! But as always, all those "fixes" collected dust as I lay on the couch or driving from A to B, reflecting, wallowing in self pity and falling deeper into depression. That lifestyle not only was my 20s but teen years as well. A worry wart on tight-rope named Anxiety looking at people live happily...
I wish I could explain exactly where or when I started to see clearly, whichever "quote" I came across that helped me rise above my self-inflicted shi(t)storm... But basically I realized that the most important thing in life is attitude, and no one else is responsible for my emotions but ME. Sure, I was crushed and heartbroken by awful people, what I realized was that's a reflection of THEM. What got to me most was I wanted people to suffer for injustices not just on me but other lives in pain inflicted by mean people and narcissists(which I don't believe is a term to be used lightly). So much pain I've carried around. FOR YEARS.
Finally, while moving and clearing clutter, I found this book again and stopped everything to start reading it. As I stated above, the only person responsible for my emotions is me, and this book delves into this and stretches this fact in ways so many people can comprehend and find a point where epiphanies are inevitable and one can benefit. I feel it to be versatile.
Like many people are saying, it does reference alcoholism quite a bit, which was never really an issue in my circumference of humans, but that doesn't mean I wasn't able to see things in a different perspective, as well as remind me of soo much suffering from friends where alcolohism is the base of dysfunction.
I've always been an empathetic, sensitive person who always feels helpless... and this book is a must-have tool for anyone and everyone who are trying to pinpoint their blame, sadness, indulgences, or whatever is keeping them from being the best person they can be.
As she also states, there is no one definition/one size fits all, which makes maybe everyone a bit codependent IMHO, maybe not as habitual or harrowing as others, depending on ones life chapters/circumstances or situations... But in a way it helped see that we are more relatable.
Definitely recommend for useful tips, and to gain a different perspective that perhaps wasn't computing before. Ha.
So glad I finally read this book, and I hope it brings comfort and light to those lost in their own minds ❤️
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful.
I really enjoyed the way the book was set up
By Brittnee
I didn't even know what codependence was or that I was codependent until I read this book! Anyone who has a history of addiction or has any sort of relationship with someone who is/was an addict should read this book. I really enjoyed the way the book was set up. The chapters aren't so long that it feels like too much at once. There are also writing exercises at the end to help you work out your codependence issues. I work at a drug an alcohol treatment facility and we highly recommend this book to ur guests.
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